Well, the cloud is moving and so am I!
Have you ever received a ricochet word? You hear a prophetic word being spoken over someone else, but your spirit starts to go off and you know God is speaking to you? God is so creative and good – he never wastes a thing. My philosophy is that even if something is being directed to someone else, if it stirs me – I’m going to reach out and grab it!
This happened recently in a rather amusing way. The words spoken were about being a person who “follows the cloud” no matter what. I had spent a day not too long before cleaning out the remnants of what had been our 2nd prayer room (so sad!). After we were almost finished, my friend Tracy and I stopped to sit and enjoy his presence for a while. Almost as soon as I quieted my heart, I had an unmistakable sense of the cloud moving and I just knew we were doing the right thing even though it was hard. What I didn’t know at the time was just how literal the “moving” would be!
The word continued … “Sometimes you might be saying ‘But Lord, I just got the pictures hung! I don’t ever want to move again!’” At this point, I think I laughed out loud. I had just said those very words. It wasn’t just the prayer room that got packed up this time – I’m getting packed up and will be moving again too. In case you’ve lost track, I just moved in August and … umm, yeah … in January before that! After two moves in less than a year, believe me, I felt like I NEVER wanted to move again, but in my heart I always knew there was something very temporary about my current situation. So now, after what will end up being just nine months in my current location – yep, I’m moving again. But the good news is that I’m following the cloud.
Since I haven’t sent out any kind of update in over a year, I’ll recap things quickly for those of you who would prefer to simply get the facts and move on (for those dear souls who actually appreciate my penchant for making short stories long – have no fear, the narrative will continue after the bullet points!):
- Our prayer room, The Well, has officially closed with no plans to re-open.
- The non-profit (501c3) corporation that is Waiting at the Well Ministries will continue as an active entity; however, ministry activities are still on hold and we have not been accepting donations.
- We do have a refined vision and focus for WATW (including an upcoming name change) but do not believe the time is right to pursue these changes …at least not quite yet. Stay tuned!
- After living in the Redlands area for over 12 years, I am moving to Rancho Cucamonga on May 8th!!! Only about 20 miles down the road from where I am now, but I believe it is very significant move in a lots of ways.
- I have not been out of the country in nearly a year (for a quick but amazing trip to Ireland last May) and, sadly, I don’t have any prayer trips on the calendar for the rest of this year. However, I am tentatively planning to go to Israel again this Fall. I have sensed so strongly that this is the right time, but I wasn’t sure, until just recently, what it was going to look like. He is beginning to fill in the blanks and my heart is getting excited. I don’t plan to take a team this time around, but I know I will again and hopefully soon (next year???). I also hope to plan a prayer trip (with a focus on human trafficking) to Thailand and Cambodia early next year. Again, though, nothing is firm.
So after more than a year with absolutely no updates – that’s it? Yep, pretty much. Honestly, I really wasn’t sure I wanted to write any kind of update at all but felt that familiar pressing on my heart and knew it was time regardless of how I felt about it. Really, this post in itself is a step of faith – of stepping out and declaring I believe there IS something on the other side of the events of the past year or two. After all, he takes us out to bring us in.
When I moved to Redlands in December of 1997, it was quite a step of faith and it has been a pretty wild adventure ever since. That move was, at the time, the single biggest step of faith I had ever taken. There have been many increasingly bigger leaps since then and, for the most part, none of them have looked or felt (or turned out) as I hoped or expected. But it has also been a journey that I wouldn’t have missed for anything. In many ways, it has been harder than I could have ever possibly imagined, but there have also been some amazing times of breakthrough and a multitude of glorious “glimpses” of what’s to come. Through this time, I’ve learned so much more about his heart, his character and his faithfulness—and have also grown more and more confident in who he has created me to be. Best of all, I can look back through the years and honestly say I’ve fallen more and more in love with Jesus each and every day. What could be better than that?
Absolutely nothing. And at the end of the day that is what makes it all worthwhile—simply knowing him. But despite the many, many profound blessings, this past year, especially, has been challenging. I know I’m not alone—each of us has had our own unique struggles. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes that means being pretty raw and real about the heartache and waiting that often accompany a life of faith. The “highs” are great, but there are very real “lows” too. Transparency isn’t always fun, but it IS a huge part of who I am and being willing to expose my own frailty is also huge part of what he has called me to do. Is it worth it? Oh yeah—a hundred percent, yes. But there are also moments along the way when it doesn’t quite feel that way. I’ve had a lot of those moments in this past year—too many of them—and honestly my heart is still healing. That’s why I haven’t been too keen on sharing much of anything in recent months. I’d much rather focus only on the good stuff and wait for some amazing breakthrough before writing to all of you, yet it is often in sharing our struggles and disappointments that we find the renewed strength to press on.
And that is what we need to do – press on. I defy anyone to look into his eyes and feel hopeless. As I gaze at him, over and over again my simple cry has been for grace to trust him more. For grace to want him more. For grace to love him more. For grace to love as he loves. Through the years, it has not been the trials of life that have brought the greatest challenges—rather it is his word that tests me (Ps 105). It’s the dichotomy between what he has promised and what we have seen. It’s the disparity between all it cost him so dearly to purchase and the small amount we’ve actually been able to apprehend. But I am determined to “lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus also laid hold of me.” And that’s why I press on. I don’t know about you, but I have believed him for a lot. I still haven’t seen much of it break into the natural (at least not yet!), but I have seen it with the eyes of my heart. I know there is so much more and I cannot—and will not—give up. Not now, not ever.
I know I’ve been in good company through this time of transition. There is a huge “repositioning” taking place in the Body of Christ. The fog is beginning to clear—I believe—for many of us. Even though I don’t have a lot of details that I feel released to share right now, I’ve received more revelation regarding future direction in the past few months than I have in the past few years! I’ve heard a lot of other people say the same. That cloud is moving—in more ways than one—and it is a very good thing.
For now, I’m simply concentrating on getting myself moved (literally!) because, for me, that is a key step in going forward. I have also been spending time, as much as possible anyway, at Refuge House of Prayer in Rancho and it has been such a huge blessing. Being a part of a house of prayer again—even if just to hang out—is such a deep part of my DNA. I have felt so welcomed and at home at Refuge–and I am so, so grateful. I’ve also found a church home amongst the community of faith at Cucamonga Christian Fellowship – and it has been a blessing to worship and fellowship with friends both old and new.
As for my spiritual family in Redlands, even though my physical address is changing, you will always be my family. I hope to stop by often – whether it is at the Building on Saturday nights, Tithemi on Sunday night, the community prayer night, or any other fun gathering (don’t forget to let me know about them!) – and hope that you’ll hardly notice I’m gone. I have been so blessed to share this part of the journey with you and know the best is yet to come!
I will continue to send additional updates when it seems appropriate. I hold you all in my heart and pray for you often. I know many of you have prayed for me through the years and I am grateful beyond words. I would appreciate your ongoing prayers in the days ahead—truly the harvest is plentiful.
One specific point of prayer that I feel pressed to mention…God has been stirring my heart about writing again—so much so that I’m starting to feel like I must be pretty dang dull in this area! I don’t, at the moment, feel compelled to start writing weekly devos or anything along those lines again, but you never know. There is also an idea for a book that has been percolating in my heart for awhile, but not quite sure it is time for that either. I guess my prayer, really, is for clarity and opportunity. Time is a bit of a challenge these days! Until I’m a bit clearer on the specifics, I’ll post any random ramblings and ponderings on this blog.
In my heart, I know that we are entering a time of unprecedented opportunity for breakthrough and global awakening—in fact, it’s already begun. My heart’s cry is simply to partner with Jesus in seeing his desire for the nations fulfilled. He still longs for a pure and spotless bride from every tribe, every tongue and every nation. With every breath, I want my life to count toward the fulfillment of his heart’s desire. In the coming days, may the cry of the Moravians resound in all of our hearts …
“May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering!”
Amen. It’s time.