Everytime I take a trip overseas, I write something to sort of recap whatever it was the Lord highlighted to me during that particular trip.  It has taken me a while, but I’ve finally written something from my Sept/Oct trip to Israel.  It will eventually be posted on the “Around the World” page on the website, but for now I’ve posted it here:

Shabbat Shalom 

I’ve been back from my most recent trip to Israel for nearly six weeks.  Since returning my life has shifted into overdrive and it feels like the trip took place a lifetime ago.  A lot has changed in a very short time.  Yet despite how much has changed, I am more aware than ever of the things that cannot change.  Now more than ever I am living in the tension between the uncertainty and urgency of the moment, and the certainty and timelessness of eternity.

That’s where Israel lives, too.  This reality was more apparent to me on this past trip than ever before.  It was a time of contrasts.  I was aware of those contrasts on both a personal level and a national level.  On a personal level, I heard myself express to someone that the primary reason I come to Israel is simply because I love to be there with Jesus and I know it gives Him great pleasure to have me there with Him.  I don’t have an agenda and I don’t need one.  Simply being there with Him is enough for me.   That was, and is, absolutely true.  Then, just a day or two later, I heard myself saying that my heart was so torn in two that I told the Lord I just couldn’t bear to come again for such a short time and without a clear purpose.  My heart and destiny are so deeply intertwined with His heart for that nation that it rips my heart apart to merely stay a couple of weeks, pray a bit here and there, and then get on a plane and leave again.  If I’m going to go, I need to be able to plant my heart there for the long run and play a specific role in His plan and purposes for Israel.  That too was, and is, absolutely true.

How can both be true?  I don’t know—how can the sovereignty of God and the freewill of man both be true? There are mysteries in this life that can’t resolved with mere human reasoning.  I don’t know how both are true, I just know they are – and I live in the tension. 

On a national level, during this trip I saw many prayers from years past answered before my eyes – the church in Israel is being strengthened and more Jews are coming to know Yeshua as their Messiah than at any time since the first century – but I also saw the depth of need with greater clarity and realized there are many, many prayers yet to be prayed and yet to be answered.  The sense of hopelessness, anger and apathy throughout the nation was palpable, yet there is also great hope and expectation rising in the church – especially amongst messianic believers.   I was encouraged and excited – and I was sobered and saddened.  All real.  All true. 

We are living in the tension of what is and what is yet to be.  While there is no denying what currently is, our hope is in the certainty of what is yet to be.  The Lord drove this home to my heart one Friday afternoon as I was standing on a terrace overlooking the Old City of Jerusalem.  Since Shabbat begins on Friday evening, Friday afternoon is typified by “the rush before the rest.”   Rarely is the city as frantic as it is on Friday afternoon.  The city basically shuts down from Friday evening to Saturday evening, so everyone rushes around to accomplish necessary chores and get their shopping done before the beginning of the Sabbath. As I watched the city rushing about, there was a profound and tangible stillness in my spirit.  Despite the frenzy of her inhabitants, despite the ongoing clash in the second heaven, I knew there was stillness and peace in Jerusalem.  As I watched and listened, I realized it was heaven’s stillness.  It was heaven’s rest and peace for Jerusalem.  From heaven’s perspective the destiny of that city is already accomplished.  When Jesus watches Jerusalem, He is at perfect peace.  Yes, He still longs for the day He can “gather her as a hen gathers her chicks.”   And yes, His heart is often broken as He waits.  But while He waits, He is still.  He is at peace.  He sees the end from the beginning.  And His shalom is available in that city even now.

We live in a time of clashing “realities.”   Yes, there are many difficulties and trying circumstances in daily life.  Yes, there is an ongoing battle in the second heaven. Yes, there are many mysteries and seeming contradictions that are impossible to reconcile with human understanding.  Yes, we face many challenges to believe despite the colliding realities of what is and what is yet to be.    But heaven is at rest.   Heaven is at peace.  And there is a Sabbath rest available – even now – to those who will be diligent to enter into it. 

In a very real way, Jerusalem has entered into her rest.  So can we.

Shabbat Shalom sweet city of God.  Your destiny is secure.

In less than 24 hours I will be sitting on  a plane headed to Israel - which seems almost surreal.  I had to actually stop and count and this will be my 5th trip to Israel since 2004.  It is amazing to me that Jesus has given me the privilege of journeying to “His city” with such frequency.  It has been a rough ride leading up to this particular trip, yet somehow it came together and God has once again made a way. 

Been learning lots about the “ways” God makes.  Sometimes He supernaturally opens doors and ushers you in on a red carpet, but other times it is more like you have to breakthrough on a bulldozer.   And the funny thing is, it’s not like one way is more “God” than another.  We tend to view the times the Lord supernaturally lines stuff up for us as evidence of His favor.  And sometimes it is.  We’ve all heard the nifty little platitude “where God guides, He provides”  and at times that is true.  I’m convinced He actually subjects Himself to playing  by those rules in certain situations simply to engage us!  But if we really want to go deeper with Him and eventually end up in partnership with Him, sooner or later the platitudes will end up out the window.   

God will engage us at the level we are willing to engage Him.  It takes a lot more faith to put your trust in a living breathing relationship than in a set of rules that God is supposed to play by.  There are times when circumstances do not play out in a way that fits neatly into any of our theological boxes, but that does NOT mean the absence of His favor, nor does it  provide “evidence” that we are “out of His will.”  It takes a deeper level of faith to keep believing when things don’t make sense and a greater level of trust to keep moving forward even when the ducks don’t line up.  It is far more important to me to be able to look up and see His smile than it is to look out and see the circumstances that the church has traditionally looked for as evidence of His favor. 

So, needless to say, getting to this trip has been more like being on the bulldozer than walking the red carpet. But that’s okay-I did get here.  And I am absolutely convinced that it WAS and IS God’s desire that I do so.  

There will undoubtedly be more hard ground to “bulldoze” when I return, but for now I’m simply grateful for this…tomorrow I am getting on that plane.  And I’m very glad.  I know Jesus is too.  

Well, I have returned from Israel (as of yesterday) and it was a great trip, but at the moment my brain is too muddled to write a substantive update.  In fact, I probably won’t even post a weekly devotion this week.  Feel like the Lord has been speaking to me and giving me clarity on many issues and has also been quite silent on others.  I’m not a particularly fast “processor” and it seems I usually need some time to sort things through.  Had some grand plans to be productive today, but it just isn’t happening.  Even though this was a relatively easy and very enjoyable trip, hanging out in Israel is always pretty intense for me, both spiritually and emotionally, and it  usually takes me awhile to decompress when I get back.  I suppose I should be used to that by now and shouldn’t expect that I’m going to get a whole lot accomplished the first few days… 

So, for today it seems all I have the energy for is a quick note to say I am back in the U.S. alive and well.  Lord willing, I will be back in the regular swing of things by next week and will resume the weekly devos and will also post an updated October calendar for the prayer room.  We are still on for prayer this Thursday (and every Thursday) evening at The Well, but need to clear my head and quiet my heart before the Lord before committing to anything else for this month. 

For those who prayed…thank you so much! God is so good and so faithful.  Once my energy returns and I get my emotions sorted, there is much to tell.  Until then, or until He comes…Shalom. 

Today I’m grateful for many things.  That should be true every moment of every day, but I have to confess there are moments (sometimes long moments!) when I lose my perspective.  There is a line from a somewhat obscure song by Twila Paris that comes to mind each time I think about gratitude and perspective: “Could the joy of life be found in simple gratitude, and is gratitude as simple as perspective?” 

Ponder that for awhile.  Is gratitude really as simple as perspective?  The more I consider it, the more I’m convinced of its truth.  I’ve been in Jerusalem for the past two weeks and have had several “perspective checks” that have served to renew a deep and profound sense of gratitude in my heart.

First, as I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been at a large international prayer convocation for a good part of my time here.  I’ve heard a lot of different estimates regarding how many people were in attendance, but in any event it is safe to say the number is closer to a couple thousand than a couple hundred.  Yet there was a relatively small number of Americans–probably less than 50.  As you can imagine, just being in such an international environment easily broadens your perspective.  Most of us in the west recognize that we live in relative ease–materially speaking–compared to most of the rest of the world.  One pastor from Russia told of selling his car so he could come with his son.  He’s not sure what he’ll do when he gets back, but he’s trusting the Lord to work it out.  That’s really where the perspective comes in.  We have a lot materially, but as a nation we are poor spiritually.  We are the church in Laodicia–thinking we are rich, when in reality we are wretched, poor, and blind.  Or worse, we are  the church in Sardis–with a reputation for being alive, when in reality we are dead.  I’ve known this in my heart for a long time, but it was humbling to realize the church in the rest of the world sees it so much more clearly than we do!  The church around the world seems to have a much more accurate picture of the church in the west than most American believers. Since those in so many other parts of the world have nowhere to turn but to God they seek Him with a fervor and desperation that is foreign to  much of western society. As a result they see Him respond in ways we don’t.  They feel bad for us–and they should!

So why am I grateful?  I’m grateful for the many blessings God has given me and my country and pray I (we) won’t squander them.  I’m grateful that believers in other countries are praying for us and I know that God hears.  I’m grateful that He has heard the cries of believers in America through the years and in His mercy He is shaking our nation so that in our time of need we will turn to Him.  And mostly, I’m grateful for my own personal weakness. I lived too long without Jesus as the center of my life and, quite frankly, I was just a walking dead person.  As a result, I do cling to Him with fervor and desperation because I know all too well what life is like without Him.  Years ago the Lord showed me that my greatest spiritual strength was the deep knowledge of my own weakness.  So I am grateful to be able to say along with the Apostle Paul, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest upon me …for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

My second perspective check came this past week in the form of an object lesson involving a very large and sharp knife. I am staying in Jerusalem with a friend and had just finished having a nice dinner with her and her flatmate.  I was doing some dishes and had carelessly placed the above mentioned knife in the water, blade side up.  When I put my hand in the dishwater, my thumb skimmed across the top of the blade.  The result wasn’t pretty. 

So why am I gateful?  It could have been SO much worse.  Sure, a lot of bad things happen in this world, but in that moment I realized just how many bad things don’t happen.  I got a glimpse of how often God protects us.  But I also realized things can change in the blink of an eye.  I want to enjoy every good moment as it comes because they pass so quickly.  It was also a reminder that so many of the things that seem to bring “drama” into our lives are really quite superficial. They make a big mess, but there is no real lasting damage.  That’s how this cut was, it made a big mess and looked like it was really something, but when it finally stopped bleeding and all was said and done, some antiseptic and a couple of simple little butterfly bandages put it back together and now, just a few days later, you wouldn’t have any idea how bad it originally seemed to be.   Honestly, it didn’t even hurt that much–it just “looked” bad.   I’m so grateful that He is teaching me not to sweat the small stuff.  And, in the overall scheme of things, most of it is small stuff.  Let go of the things that don’t really matter–hold fast to what is good. None of us have any idea how long those “good” things will last–enjoy them while you can.

My third and final perpective check (at least for this post!) came this weekend.  Yesterday was Yom Kippur.  The Day of Atonement–the holiest day on the Jewish calendar.  On Friday evening, my friends and I went to the Great Synagogue in Jerusalem for the service (think going to the Crystal Cathedral for an Easter service–people who may not go to synagogue on any other day, go on Yom Kippur) and afterwards we headed to the Kotel (the Western Wall).  Everything stops in Jerusalem on Yom Kippur.  No cars are allowed on the roads.  Everything is closed.  There is a stillness over the city that is hard to imagine any other day–even on Shabbat.  Everyone is out, though, walking with family and friends to synagogue or to each other’s homes, dressed mostly in white.  Of course in biblical times on the Day of Atonement the high priest would enter the Holy of Holies to make atonement for all the people.  Since the veil of the temple was torn at the time of Jesus’ crucifixion and then some 70 years later Jerusalem was siezed and the temple itself was completely destroyed, such a practice is no longer possible.  Which, of course, was God’s intent, since He offered His Son as the final and ultimate sacrifice.  Now, as I understand it (although admittedly my understanding of orthodox traditions is very limited), orthodox Jews will keep track of their sins through the year, and then on Yom Kippur they fast for 25 hours as they confess their sins and seek forgiveness and atonement in various ways depending on the degree of orthodoxy. The ultimate goal is for their names to be written in the Book of Life which is said to be sealed on Yom Kippur until the next year. 

There is a reverence for God associated with Yom Kippur (and in many Jewish traditions), that we would do well to learn from, but there is also a sense of heaviness that comes from the lack of assurance that they have actually been forgiven.  Even though the sense of God’s presence in the city was so apparent, I had such deep sorrow in my heart knowing most will wake up the next morning continuing to carry the weight of their sin.

So why am I grateful?  I’m grateful because I know that atonement has been made.  I’m grateful that I know my sins have been forgiven and I know my name is written in the Book of Life and it will never be blotted out.  I’m even grateful that I know I know!

But even more, I’m grateful that the time of His coming is fast approaching.  Although the Bible tells us we won’t know the exact day or hour, it clearly states that we should know the season.  I don’t know a single person whose ear is attentive to the voice of God who doesn’t whole heartedly agree that we are in that season.  Recent newspaper headlines seem to be taken almost verbatim from the pages of Scripture.  I’m grateful that in that day, all of Israel will be saved.  I’m grateful that many, both Jew and Gentile, are beginning to hear His call and are turning to Him even now.  More than anything, I’m grateful that the day He has longed for since eternity past will soon come to pass.  The day when we, the church worldwide, Jew and Gentile, will be presented to Him–in Jerusalem–as one pure spotless bride.  On that day, He will finally recieve the due reward for His suffering.

Yes, I think gratitude is as simple as perspective.  And today I am simply grateful…for all of the above. 

And for so much more.

Well, I am packed and about ready to take off for Israel once again.  I will be attending the All Nations Prayer Convocation (sounds like such a fancy title) in Jerusalem from the 12th through the 22nd, then just hanging out in the city for a few days until the opening of the ICEJ’s Feast of Tabernacles celebration in En Gedi on the 27th.  I’ll be back in the States on the 29th.

The prayer room will be closed during this time except for the weekly Thursday prayer meeting.  

I appreciate any and all prayers as the Lord leads.  I’ll try to touch base along the way as I’m able.

Blessings to all,

Cindy